nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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