Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
