Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
