All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize