I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
