i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
there is puke in my bra ... again
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