and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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