the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize