I seem to have left my pride at pride
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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