Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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