Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize