took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
