There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
