new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize