she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
