I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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