last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
