I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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