i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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