Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize