I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
