do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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