dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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