I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
