I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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