There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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