Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
