I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
