I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Randomize
