Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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