Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
