My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
