I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
