mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
did you just send me my own nude
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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