I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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