I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
