just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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