My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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