Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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