he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
