Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
