Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
