how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
