hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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