So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
