think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
