Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
