Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
