Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
