Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
