u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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