I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
