if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
