We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
