I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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