Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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