I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
