He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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