Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
